


Just Give Me a Reason

by cigarettekisses



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:11:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettekisses/pseuds/cigarettekisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We're not broken, just bent."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Give Me a Reason

His eyes were just like tonight’s sky. There were no stars to be found and the moon hid behind the clouds. Just as there were no sparkle in his eyes, the light that once shone was gone, hidden behind clouds of doubt and uncertainty. Cerulean, just like the deep ocean, it used to be, but now it had turned pitch black, empty and meaningless. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular and his mind was off to some other place.

His fingertips were tapping on the varnished wood of the dinner table. The only sound he heard was the unending fidgeting and his own heart beat racing and banging against his chest. If only he knows how to make it stop, how to make himself stop. His right hand found the crystal glass and he played with its content.  _Surely some alcohol wouldn’t hurt right?_ Maybe it will make him finally fall asleep and rest his mind. He drank the entire content of the glass and bare-footedly tiptoed to their bedroom.

The door creaked as he pushed it open. He tried not to wake Harry up. He’s probably tired from an entire day of travelling here and there for interviews. He gently tucked himself into his side of the bed, making sure that he doesn’t tug on the blanket.

Harry’s head was comfortably pressed onto his pillow. His face looked innocent and there was no trace of the pain he saw earlier that evening when he saw Harry sobbing quietly inside their bedroom. He pretended that he hadn’t seen anything.

Did he do something to upset him? Was there something that he said that hurt him? Was he driving him off the edge? He’d like to believe that it was nothing of his concern. That it was about something else other than their relationship. But what can he do? He knows how much it pains Harry to pretend that there is nothing going on between them. The world sees nothing of their sacrifices and it places Harry inside a box. They are caged and the entire world is a circus, watching them from the outside, expecting them to put on a show. They clap, oh yes they do. They cheer and give them rounds of applause, but no one cares enough to let them out. And Harry is the most honest person he has ever met. If there’s something he’d want the most, it would be to let the whole world know that what they have is amazing. And now he is afraid that one day Harry will give up on him and what they have will turn into something that they  _had_.

The night grew darker and colder and his eyes felt heavy but he couldn’t bring himself to sleep. Every time he tried to close his eyes and rest, he saw the image of Harry.

His eyes were bloodshot and huge drops of tears kept falling from his eyes. Harry was trying his best not to make a sound, clutching the crease of his pants as he sat on the edge of the bed. His mouth was wide open but he didn’t scream at all and it was the most painful thing Louis has ever seen. He wanted to do something, to pull him in an embrace and tell him that he understood and that they can make it through this. But he wasn’t able to bring himself into even coming anywhere near the lad. He saw the anger and the desperation in that face, in those eyes. They just glistened with tears, a mute shout, a silent beating. He cowered and turned his back trying to make himself believe that what he had seen was nothing but his mind playing with him. But he knew that all of it was true.  _It’s happening and I can’t do anything to make it stop._

“Lou?” Harry’s voice was a soothing melody in contrast to the deafening silence. It sounded gravelly from sleep but his name will always taste sweet coming from the lad. 

He didn’t answer, he couldn’t bring himself to say a thing. Instead, he pulled him in, letting the mop of curls bury on the crook of his neck. He was warm and Louis felt his own heart beating next to Harry’s. The rhythm was calming and soon enough his was beating the same pattern as that of the lanky lad. He watched their chests, rising and falling at the exact same time, as if they were one being. He tightened his grip on the lad’s waist as he dropped a kiss on Harry’s temple. He heard the sharp intake of breath and the choked out sob coming from the younger lad. There was a flutter of eyelash against his cheek before a warm tear dropped on his collar bone. It dried out as soon as it fell.

The words clung into the chilly night breeze.

The misery left unsaid yet understood.

_Please don’t give up on me._


End file.
